Aftermath

What am I without words

something incidental?

but I am not without feelings

and they gnaw at my bones, trash my head

and you circle

verbal-ising

and I’m not sure what or why or where this goes

so I listen on the surface

coming in now and then from the circumference

where you put me

where I put me

and I let the mist of ambiguity veil my objection

or is that abjection

not wanting to fail

I respond, but

I recall saying I go away

so I will disappear sometimes

and that doesn’t mean I’m disconnected or disinterested

just means I need that space

but my emotions still stir

crucifyingly cruelly ingrained

and I wonder at it all

why it works me so

the small things, a look, a word, unintentional, meaningless asides that build mountains, make gulfs

and I go away but want to remain and live that passion we so undeniably are

but I don’t feel it in you

not this day

and even though you call

I go

Poem written 2011